The Truth About Nicknames
by DaftPenguinofDoom
Summary: Minerva tells her feelings about socalled 'affectionate nicknames'. Surprises happen. MMAD fluff occurs. Can anyone say Oneshot?


The Truth about Nicknames

Surprise, surprise.

"Minerva, I'm nervous. We really shouldn't be doing this in the hallway…"

"What? You nervous? When have I ever known the great Albus Dumbledore to be nervous about anything? Especially this? I'm the one who's usually nervous about things like this."

"Well… I… what if a student sees us?"

"Then they get in deep trouble. The students aren't to be out of bed at this hour anyway and you know that full well."

"Minnie…"

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"That!"

"What? Did you hear something?"

"No, well, yes, what you just said."

"What did I say? Minnie?"

"Yes!"

"What's wrong with that?"

"What do you mean 'what's wrong with that?' I've told you time and time again my name is not 'Minnie,' my name is not 'Min,' it isn't 'Tabby' it isn't 'Here Kitty, Kitty.' It's Minerva for heaven's sake!"

"Oh, there you've gone and spoiled the mood."

"Oh, now you want to play."

"Don't you?"

"Yes, that's why we're out here."

"I love you,"

"I don't love you,"

"Awww… Min… you've cut me to the quick,"

"There you go calling me 'Min'! Stop it! I won't stand for such ridiculous nonsense. My name is Minerva. Minerva, dear! Say it!"

"Minerva, dear!"

"Don't get smart mouth with me _Al_,"

"Did you just call me Al?"

"Or did you prefer _Professor?_" she turned from him.

Albus looked hurt he grabbed her hands, "Minerva, now, stop. You're mad at me, I know. I'm sorry…"

"I don't like nicknames, I never have. You know me, I'm straight-laced no nonsense."

"And yet, you're the one who dragged me to this empty hallway."

"I needed a break."

"Did you?"

"You have no idea,"

"Try me."

"Did you know… that fourth year… Alastor Moody, keeps sneaking out of his bed for some reason or another, giving the most dreadful shocks to anyone turning corners and such. Keeps saying 'keep on your guard' and other such ridiculous nonsense."

"And we all know how you can't stand ridiculous nonsense," he said hoisting himself onto a window ledge and drawing his robes around him.

She glared at him, "I've been scared out of my wits at least three times this week!"

"Oh don't be too mad at the boy. I remember a time once, when I was a second year and one of my older brothers, oh yes, I had more than one brother. But he was a seventh year at the time. We hexed the headmistress behind her back. It was the first of two detentions I ever got in my years as a student at Hogwarts."

"Is that so?"

"Yes,"

"What was the hex?"

"Hair glue."

"Hair glue?"

"Mmm hmm… 'adglutino caesaries.' It's a pretty good hex too. Anything that touches it, the hair that is, sticks. Including hands, hairbrushes, any one or anything it should touch passing in the halls. Walls… people… the whole thing, I remember she got stuck to Dippet for two days while they tried to find the counter charm."

"Really? Oh… hmmm yes… I seem to remember… yes! I do remember! Oh! That was funny! She was fuming! They never did like each other after that. That was you?"

"Yes, Alaric and I. I discovered it, he set me up and I used it."

"Set you up?"

"Well, set her up…"

"Of course."

"What? You think he pushed me into it? No, I did it on my own. He just had too much at stake to do it himself. He taught me a lot." he seemed bored as he conjured a rose as he spoke, "You know, wizards should never learn Latin, it's scary the results that come from it."

Minerva watched in awe as the rose floated in mid air, turned a clear rosy pink and crystallized. It burst into shards of light that danced upon the walls. The light returned to his wand. He sighed.

"Albus, that was amazing!" she breathed, stunned.

He laughed and shrugged, "I suppose so."

He held out his hands to her and she took them. He pulled her up on the window ledge also so she was sitting her back to his chest. He leaned his head over her shoulder and he made her cup her hands over his, her palms upturned. In her cupped hands he waved his wand slowly.

"'Vincit omnia amor,'" he whispered in her ear. He said something else and a glowing, beating heart of the same crystalline quality rose in her hands. It pumped, shrinking and expanding, changing its shape into a cat, clear and beautiful. It stood and walked about in her hands then settled and looked deep into her eyes. Its lithe figure was so real, she was tempted to reach up and touch it, but Albus kept a firm grasp on her hands. She looked up at him, but he was staring intently at her palms, concentrating heavily. The liquid glass sunk onto her hands into a pile of shining dust. She looked closely at it as the dust began to morph, changing color. It flared suddenly from her hands into a golden fiery phoenix and glided about the darkened, spilling light as it went. It flew higher and gracefully soared out of the window that they were sitting in.

Minerva stared over his shoulder in wonder as it disappeared into the night. Albus looked down at her in adoration. He would always adore her.

"Did you like that, darling?" he whispered into her ear.

"Albus…" she threw her arms around him and kissed him. They parted for breath but she quickly captured his lips in another breath-taking kiss. He parted the neckline of her dress and placed his hand over her heart as they continued to kiss with a tender passion, barely stopping to breathe.

Just then, something happened that truly took their breath away.

"Sir Nicholas!"

Albus nearly fell from the window, but grabbed on to the ledge just in time. Minerva helped him back into the corridor. He stood up and brushed off his robe, color rising in his cheeks.

"Professor Dumbledore! Professor McGonagall!" the ghost sputtered, "I'm terribly sorry! I- I hadn't known anyone was in this hall! I never would have… Oh, I am sorry! I…" the ghost's cheeks had colored, too, if you could call it that. At least the ghost's gray looked deeper and less transparent.

Minerva found her voice, "Actually, Sir Nicholas… you should know… since you found us, that it should not be 'Professor Dumbledore', but '_Professors_' Dumbledore, as I am married to Professor Dumbledore."

The poor ghost floated there shocked for a few moments.

"What?" smiled Minerva, "Cat got your tongue?"

The ghost relaxed at the joke, "Of course not, Tabby!"

Minerva's smile disappeared, "My name is not TABBY!" she said through clenched teeth.

Albus smiled, "I see you know more than one of our secrets. I'm sorry about my wife, she's very touchy about her name." She glared at him.

"Ahem, yes, well, Nicholas, I know we can trust you. I'm sorry our little display disturbed your midnight wanderings. We'll try not to let it happen again. But please, it would be best if no one else knew about our union, not at this time, maybe not ever. So if you could be so kind as to never tell anyone…"

"Of course, Professor, I shall be as silent as the grave."

"That self-deprecating humor really isn't all that funny you know," Minerva said.

Sir Nicolas shrugged, "Sorry, ghost jokes you know. I'm sorry; I've completely lost my manners. Here I am floating in the hallway, interrupting you two. Albus, Minerva, Congratulations to you both!" he took Albus' hand and made the effort to shake it, "I wish you all the happiness in the world! Now, I will bid you adieu with my sincere pledge that your secret is safe with me." He smiled and bowed and floated out through the wall he had just come from.

"Come, I don't think the hallways are very safe after all," she said taking Albus' hand.

"Wait darling, before we go, would you like to know what the words of that charm were? I made it just for you and I," he kissed her gently and then hugged her close to himself and whispered softly into her ear those ancient words.

**Rosa rubicundior, **

**lilio candidior, **

**omnibus formosior, **

**semper in te glorior**

- _Redder than the rose, _

_whiter than the lilies, _

_fairer than everything,_

_I will always glory in thee._

(Yup, they got caught. This goes to that part in the beginning of "It's a MMAD MMAD MMAD MMAD World" when Sir Nicolas catches them passionately making out in the hallway. This fic stemmed from all those other fics that totally put Minerva out of character by giving her 'affectionate' nicknames. It drives me nuts! Anyone who really knows Minerva would probably realize that she is a "full name type of person." Do Minerva a favor… call her by her real name!)

**Vincit omnia amor**- love conquers all

**adglutino caesaries- **glue hair

(both Latin)


End file.
